Q: So you write songs?
A: Yes.

Q: How would you describe your songs?
A: They are eclectic.  About half of them aren't too bad.  A few of them are genuinely good.  Many of them are supposed to be funny. Many of them are not supposed to be funny.

Q: That's a pretty crappy description.
A: Yeah, you could probably describe them better than me.

Q: Are you a folk musician?
A: If you define "folk musician" as a solo act who sings while accompanying himself on an acoustic guitar then yeah, sure.

Q: How many songs have you written?
A: I don't know. 250 finished ones, probably. People seem to think that's a lot, but I don't really feel that way. Writing songs is just something I do, the way some people breathe or poach elephants. 

Q: Is it true that NBA basketball player and fellow Hamilton Central School alumnus Adonal Foyle loves your hair?
A: Yes. At least, that's what he said.

Q: When did you start playing guitar?
A: Third Grade. And not a moment too soon.

Q: Why did you start playing guitar?
A: I liked the Beach Boys.

Q: Do you still like the Beach Boys?
A: Yes. I also like Ligeti. And Lutoslawski. 

Q: Where did the name Isto come from?
A: When I was in ninth grade, Otto Muller asked me why they called me Chris. Why not Topher, or Isto? That was a fair question. One or two people who overheard the conversation started to call me Isto, including my friend Yogi. Later, during 11th and 12th grade, I wrote a weekly article for my high school newspaper called "Isto Examines the Arts." The name took off a little more after that. When it came to labeling the mp3s of my music I used "Isto" because it was shorter than "Christopher Frank White, Son of Frank and Sally, Holder of the Guitar, Bringer of Happiness, Man of the Hour" and so once my mp3s started circulating among my friends, they started calling me Isto. Now I am sick of the name, but what are you gonna do? The kids like it. It's catchy.

Q: Why nylon strings?
A: Because I like them.

Q: How do you get to Carnegie Hall?
A: Sleep around.

Q: Will you perform at my wedding/bar mitzva/college/radio station/birthday party/rocket launch/other event?
A: Yes, but you will need to give me some money.

Q: How much?
A: That all depends on the occasion. Sometimes, I might perform for free, but you can't do too much of that, you know. A fellow's got to make a living. And I don't really have any form of regular income.

Q: What kinds of songs can you perform other than your own?
A: I do a lot of jazz standards. I like to croon and accompany myself on the guitar. I can also play any Beatles song you ask me to. One of my favorite hobbies is leading singalongs, and asking a room full of people what they want to sing. Usually I can play enough of their requests to come off as a guy with a big repertoire. I try to make my repertoire as big as possible to compensate for the size of my toes.

Q: That's understandable.
A: I also can throw in arias and classical guitar pieces to throw off my listeners. And I can perform the entirety of Alice's Restaurant from memory.

Q: I've heard that you write chamber music as well. Is this true?
A: Yes. In fact, I think I am much more interested in serious composition than I am in songwriting, but I would say that I am much more successful as a songwriter. But my dream is to someday be able to write truly great music. I don't really think of any of the music I have created up to now as having any real value, but at the same time I very much believe in myself, and consider myself as being on a path that will eventually get me to a point where I can create great music of some kind. My friend Sam Hoyland once said, "Today is for good music; tomorrow is for great music." I happen to think that is one of the better statements I have ever heard. Most of what I listen to is "classical" music in some sense of the word, and I hardly ever listen to the kind of silly song that I am known for. People are often trying to introduce me to musical artists they think are similar to me, but these are almost never musical acts I would spend much time listening to.

Q: Are there silly acts that you would spend much time listening to?
A: Oh, definitely. I really enjoy Benny Bell, and that has a lot to do with the fact that his music was obviously recorded in the 40s, and I get a certain pleasure from listening to such vulgar music recorded the old-fashioned way. His voice is priceless too, because he puts no emotion into his songs, and when he gets to the punchlines, he sings them as though they aren't punchlines. I also really like a lot of Monty Python's more absurd songs. "Eric the Half a Bee," for example, gets funnier every time I hear it because it's so bizarre. The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band, and the early Mothers of Invention stuff often is similar in that way. I tend to like lyrics that are funny and absurd without telling jokes. Punchlines get old after you've heard them, but when there's a genuine absurdity in something, it stays fresh. "Lumpy Gravy" is one of my favorite albums. 

Q: Will you write a song for me if I ask you too? 
A: Almost definitely.

Q: How do you make your voice sound like that?
A: Like this?

Q: Yeah.
A: I'm not really sure. It just comes out of me. It's one of the things my voice can do.

Q: What else can your voice do?
A: It can make sounds like THIS. And like this. And like this.

Q: That's amazing.
A: Thank you.

Q: What would be your ten desert island albums?
A: Ah, the classic desert island question. Hmmm. Well, I think I'll take the question "Which ten albums would you like to have with you if you were stranded alone on an island" a little more literally than most people do, and actually imagine myself on an island, and consider what music that situation would put me in the mood for. First of all, I'd like to have some steel drum music. Because I'd imagine that would be good music to have on an island. "Steel Drum Party" by the band Various Artists seems like a decent choice.  Second, I think I'd like to have the theme from "Gilligan's Island." A quick search for that song on www.allmusic.com shows me that "The Ballad of Gilligan's Island" is one of the tracks on the album, "Drew's Famous Kon Tiki Luau Party," which also has a few other appropriate-looking songs, such as "Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo," "The Tiki Tiki Stomp," and "Funkytown." I think I'll throw that in my shopping cart as well. That Folkways compilation of Sea Chanties would probably be a good thing to have too. So that's three albums. I'd probably also want some Beatles. I think I'd go with Live at the BBC and the White Album, because those two albums would give me a pretty good bang for my buck. Incidentally, what's the deal with people who refer to the White Album as uneven? That album's, like, perfect in every way. People (e.g., George Martin) are often saying that it should have been a single album. Fuck that shit! Seriously, what are you going to take out? "Rocky Raccoon?" "Savoy Truffle?" "Why Don't We Do It In The Road?" Those songs are all fucking masterpieces, and the album has such a great variety and breadth to it. And a pretty groovy structure too. The descent into hell that is depicted in "Revolution 9" immediately followed by "Good Night" is reminiscent of the descent of Jesus-Fucking-Christ into hell, before rising to heaven. In fact, I bet a case could be made that the whole album is an allegory for the story of Jesus Christ. But I'll leave that debate to theologians. Seriously, though, some people don't like 'Revolution 9.' Now, I'd be the first to admit that I'm no expert on the finer points of the art of creating sound collages, and I understand that 'Revolution 9' is not on the same level "artistically" as 'Gesang der Junglinge,' or 'Etude aux Chemins de fer,' or whatever the musique concrete masterpieces are, but, damnit, it's fucking fun to listen to, provides a necessary function to the overall structure of the album, and helps complete the range of eclecticism that defines the album. It also provides a wonderfully quoteable line with the "Number Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine," tape loop, and a neat cultural reference point (it is, as far as I know, the only avant-garde piece of music that everybody owns). Remember that part of the Woodstock album/movie in which it is quoted? And we wouldn't have the phrase "Turn Me On, Dead Man" if not for "Revolution 9." The White Album is also, I would argue, the best representation of John Lennon's songwriting ability. He wrote a buttload of good songs in India. If you try to take a single song off of the white album, I will fucking kill you. Oh, but back to the list. I guess I'd also need The Complete Louis Armstrong Hot 5 and Hot 7 Recordings, and the Beach Boys' "Pet Sounds." I'd also need some recording of the late Beethoven String Quartets. I'm not sure whose recording I would pick, because there are so many I haven't heard, so I'll just say the Desert Island Quartet. How many albums is that so far? Eight? Hmmm. So I get two more. Well, I guess I'd probably like to have Sinatra's "In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning" with me. I'd be pretty lonely on an island by myself, and that album would match my mood. And sometimes I'd also long for some more modern sounds, so I guess the Pierre Boulez recording of the Complete Works of Anton Webern would probably do the trick. That's Ten. Wow. That's the only music I'd get to listen to for the rest of my life? That's a depressing thought. It kind of makes me want to go through and pick a different ten. But I guess it's too late. I've already made my choices. Damnit. I wish somebody would come rescue me from this fucking desert island. I am already sick of Steel Drums and Webern. 

Q: It'll be all right. That was just just a hypothetical question.
A: Oh, was it? What a relief.

Q: But on with the interview... who are your influences?
A: Well, there are far too many to list, but, to name a few off the top of my head in no particular order: Frank Sinatra, Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs, J.S. Bach, Louis Armstrong, Burt Lahr, Bela Bartok, W.C. Fields, Erich von Stroheim, Charles Laughton, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr, George Martin, Geoff Emerick, Procrustes, Alban Berg, Anton Webern, Arnold Schoenberg, Zahi Hawass, Ezra Pound, Bob Dylan, Karlheinz Stockhausen, Jimmy Van Heusen, Johnny Burke, Sergei Paradjanov, Victor Buono, Brian Wilson, Carl Wilson, Bing Crosby, Luis Bunuel, Walter Huston, Jim Morrison, Ella Fitzgerald, Emily Dickinson, Isak Borg, Billie Holiday, Topol, Little Richard, Zero Mostel, Yoko Ono, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Chris Van Allsburg, Len Cariou, Sun Ra, Peter Sellers, Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, Dmitri Shostakovich, Nelson Riddle, Pablo Picasso, Lon Chaney, Lon Chaney, Jr., Fred Rogers, Paul Robeson, Joseph Heller, Johann Joseph Fux, Billy Eckstine, Stevie Wonder, Howlin’ Wolf, Jiminy Cricket, Michelangelo Antonioni, William Shatner, Borodin, Dizzy Gillespie, Heinrich Schliemann, Richard Slotkin, Mauricio Kagel, Bo Diddley, T.S. Eliot, Gregg Allman, Gyorgy Kurtag, Frank Zappa, Clifford Brown, Dr. John, Louis Jordan, Mick Jagger, Van Morrison, Dick Van Dyke, Raffi, Dziga Vertov, Catherine Deneuve, Artie Shaw, Muddy Waters, Arlo Guthrie, Al Jolsen, Ludwig van Beethoven, Fats Domino, Charles Mingus, Charles Ives, Frankie Darro, Jerry Garcia, Anthony Braxton, Nan Washburn, Isaac Asimov, Antonio Vivaldi, Edwin Vollmer, Tony Lombardozzi, Neely Bruce, Jay Hoggard, Yonatin Malin, Alvin Lucier, Babe Ruth, The Swain Family, Talking Heads, John Cage, Bessie Smith, Gary Larson, Edgar Allen Poe, Anton Bruckner, Ulysses, Christopher Reeve, Beck, Art Tatum, Edward Hopper, FDR, Felix Mendelssohn, Alexander the Great, Salvador Dali, Saint Joan of Arc, Elvis Presley, Howard Nemerov, Sigmund Freud, Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce, Jerry Lee Lewis, Donald O'Connor, Bill Frisell, Alan White, Harold Lloyd, Plutarch, Tom Waits, Groucho, Chico, Harpo, Zeppo, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Ivan Turgenev, Leo Tolstoy, Antonin Dvorak, Captain Beefheart, Emeric Pressburger, Morton Feldman, Joseph Haydn, A.A. Milne, Jack Larson, Henri-Georges Clouzot, Cannonball Adderley, The Zombies, Louis Prima, Andres Segovia, Kozuhito Yamashita, Duke Ellington, Vernon Duke, Mucius Scaevola, Ray Bolger, Coleman Hawkins, B.B. King, Michael Powell, Adam West, Burt Ward, Joe Pass, Stravinsky, Wild Man Fischer, Ned Beatty, D.W. Griffith, Pyotr Tchaikovsky, Yes, Bobby McFerrin, Dan Patch, Sergei Eisenstein, Aeschylus, Blind Willie McTell, The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band, Vladimir Ussachevsky, Anthony Hopkins, Jackson Pollock, Margaret Dumont, Mary Poppins, Maurice Ravel, Preston Sturges, Frederic Rzewski, John Belushi, Dan Ackroyd, Johnny Appleseed, Clifford D.  Simak, John Astin, Ernest Hemingway,  William Godwin, Charles Judels, Stephen Sondheim, Julius Caesar, Lenny Bruce, Joseph L. Mankiewicz, Robin Williams, Jonathan Winters, Roberto Clemente, Rocky and Mugsy, Edward Lear, Sammy Cahn, Rene Magritte, Mark Twain, Perseus, Carlo Battisti, Otto Luening, Henry Brant, Bo Rucker, James Cagney, Burgess Meredith, Julie Newmar, Buster Keaton, Abraham Lincoln, T-Bone Walker, Bill Dixon, Grigori Rasputin, Jean-Paul Sartre, ELP, Ed Wynn, Jim Carrey, David Attenborough, Peter Falk, Billy Joel, Jack Lewis, Buddy Holly, Rusty Nails, Edward H. Plumb, John Huston, Scheherazade, Abel Gance, Max Schrek, Ernie, William Wyler, Mother Goose, Benny Goodman, Brian Jones, George Carlin, Johnny Mercer, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Coltrane, Errol Flynn, Doc Watson, Martin and Lewis, George Costanza, Gilgamesh King of Uruk, Gilda Radner, Gus Kahn, the Platters, Mickey Mantle, Charlie Chaplin, Paul Newman, Thomas Edison, Phil Ochs, Carl Theodor Dreyer, Bill Evans, Alfred E. Newman, Guy Smiley, Johnny Cash, the Kingston Trio, Giambattista Vico, John Zorn, Rembrandt van Rijn, James Joyce, The Mothers of Invention, Sam Sheepdog, Ralph Wolf, John Cassavetes, Miles Davis, Otto Preminger, Odysseus, Jack Nicholson, Tod Browning, Ernst Krenek, Victor Spinetti, Eric Dolphy, Fela Kuti, Ivie Anderson, Michael Maltese, Voltaire, Gossamer, Leadbelly, Laurence Urdang, Mina Loy, Blood, Sweat and Tears, Robert Wiene, Carole King, William the Conquerer, Nanook of the North, Al Kaline, Confucius, Dock Ellis, W.A. Mozart, Joe Dimaggio, Ted Williams, Conlon Nancarrow, Napoleon, Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, Ravi Shankar, Maurice Chevalier, Sherlock Holmes, Nate the Great, Charlie Christian, Paul Simon, Art Garfunkel, Robinson Crusoe, Tex Avery, Arvo Part, George Cukor, Alan Parsons, Gonzo, George Orwell, Homer, Bob Hoskins, Roland Barthes, Herman Hesse, Jonathan Swift, Arthur C. Clarke, Geoffrey C. Ward, Friedrich Nietzsche, Pierre-Joseph Proudhon, Richard Hamilton, Dave Brubeck, Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, early Phish, Caesar Romero, Walt Whitman, Jean-Luc Godard, Clint Eastwood, Walter Donaldson,  Harold Russell, Robert Johnson, Eleanor Gehrig, Huckleberry Finn, Emil Frantisek, Burian, Woody Allen, Edward G. Robinson, Jean-Léon Gérôme, Buddha, Harold Arlen, Don Brodie, Fats Waller, Bubble Puppy, Paul Fierlinger, Roman Polanski, Carl Stalling, John Mayall, Jack O'Halloran, The Drifters, Skip Spence, Fletcher Henderson, Ralph Nader, Dooley Wilson, Deborah Kerr, Heracles, Max Roach, Michael J. Fox, Andy Razaf, George A. Romero, Jack Teagarden, Sophocles, Socrates, Plato, Mort Todd, Richard Rogers, Lorenz Hart, Yip Harburg, Robert Sheckley, Jay Ward, George C. Scott, Jackie Cooper, Bette Davis, James Thurber, Cary Grant, Sandy Koufax, Buster Martin, Tiny Tim, Humphrey Chimpden Earwicker, Lonnie Johnson, Angela Lansbury, Anthony Perkins, Ray Bradbury, Emile Zola, John Brown, Albert Einstein, Grover, Fat Blue, Jimmy Page, Benny Bell, Bobby Pickett, Giuseppe Verdi, Frank Gorshin, Bambi, Adios Harry, Michael Jordan, Leos Janacek, Joan Miro, Bill Clinton, Fred Zinnemann, Noam Chomsky, Cochise, John Sebastian and his Lovin’ Spoonful, Eugene O'Neill, Leopold Bloom, Henri Matisse, Ken Burns, Sylvia Plath, Woodrow Wilson, Scipio Africanus, Debbie Reynolds, Scatman Crothers, Frank Loesser, John Ford, Astrid Kirchherr, Jason and the Argonauts, Pope John Paul II, Ruth Crawford Seeger, Raphael, Elia Kazan, Morey Amsterdam, Menes, Henry David Thoreau, Art Carney, Eric Burdon, Michael Jackson, Theseus, Margarita Terekhova, Phil Lesh, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Colonel Rimfire, Bern Nix, Cole Porter, Neil Hamilton, Thomas More, the corpse under my bed, Otto Preminger, Radiohead, Walt Disney, Karl Marx, Stuart Sutcliffe, Charlie Parker, Gene Krupa, O.J. Simpson, Bela Lugosi, Hoagie Carmichael, Cole Porter, Matt Groening, Steve McQueen, The Small Faces, Lewis Black, Arthur Schopenhauer, Leonard Nimoy, Andrei Rublev, Sly and the Family Stone, Gyorgy Ligeti, Ray Charles, Dumbo, Aldous Huxley, Catherine the Great, Humphrey Bogart, Tristan, Isolde, Tom Petty, Laurel and Hardy, Danny Flores, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Ran Blake, Steve Irwin, The Everly Brothers, Pierre Boulez, Erik Satie, Static, Jack the Ripper, Ed Gein, Sweeney Todd, Satchel Paige, Rose Marie, Klaus Voorman, Alfred Bester, Chester Copperpot, Aristophanes, The Byrds, Teeny Little Super Guy, Edgar Degas, Michel de Montaigne, Iannis Xenakis, Jimmy Carter, T.E. Lawrence, Peter O’Toole, Ub Iwerks, Gene Kelly, Albert Camus, Benjamin Franklin, Billy Wilder, Hans Christian Anderson, Steve Allen, Antonio Carlos Jobim, Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, Roger Corman, James Stewart, Robert A. Heinlein, Richard Pryor, Mark Lewisohn, Cosmo Kramer, Lester Young, Derek and the Dominoes, Loudon Wainwright III, Slim Pickens, George Gershwin, Roald Dahl, Akira Kurosawa, Mel Brooks, Dave Matthews, Kid Ory, Clark Gable, Terence Stamp, Bo Diddley, Michael Curtiz, Iain MacMillan, Prince Achmed, Montgomery Clift, Montgomery Scott, Chuck Berry, Anthony Burgess, Eddie Murphy, Edward Brophy, Thomas Mitchell, Earl Brown, Ron "Pigpen" McKernan, Frederick Douglass, Frank Robinson, Art Vandalay, Douglas Adams, Speedy Gonzalez, Slowpoke Rodriguez, Franz Schubert, Ornette Coleman, James Caan, William Shakespeare, William Conrad, Ben Kingsley, my family, my friends, my teachers, my peers, Alexander Scriabin, Medeski, Martin and Wood, John O'Hurley, Groff Conklin, Cincinnatus, Pink Floyd, Syd Barret, Bob Hope, Wendy Carlos, Tito Puente, Vittorio De Sica, One-Eyed Willie, MacGuyver, Kermit the Frog, Barney Martin, Aesop, Frank Capra, Charlie Ellerbee, Sheb Wooley, Max Fleischer, Jerome Kern, Bix Beiderbecke, Steely Dan, Donald Fagen, Tom Dooley, Peter Ustinov, Olivier Messiaen, Jerry Seinfeld, Yosemite Sam, Steve Martin, Richard Deacon, Yevgeney Zamyatin, Marlene Dietrich, Jon Stewart, Johnny Carson, Paul Bunyan, The Kinks, Leonardo Da Vinci, Mahatma Gandhi, Lou Gehrig, Napoleon XIV, Frank Capra, Bill Murray, Viv Stanshall, Han Solo, John Adams, Maynard G. Krebs, Osiris, Hegetorides of Thasos, Django Reinhardt, Vincent Price, Santa Claus, Huckleberry Finn, Henry Fonda, Nat King Cole, the Lemon Pipers, Wassily Kandinsky, Walter Catlett, Marc McClure, George Sanders, Gene Vincent, Claude Rains, Raymond Luxury Yacht, Edgard Varese, Brian O'Rourke, Crosby, Stills and Nash, Santana, Pete Seeger, Johannes Brahms, Anthony Quinn, William Tenn, Darius Milhaud, Cliff Edwards, Edvard Munch, Joseph Cotton, Mal Evans, Len Lesser, James the Lesser, Jules Verne, Dr. Seuss, Claude Monet, Yogi Berra, Sholem Aleichem, Mack Sennett, Launchpad McQuack, General Rhubarb McQuack, James Brown, Sidney Bechet, Neil Armstrong, Richard Lester, James Dean, Sean Connery, Country Joe and the Fish, John Cazale, Ben E. King, Brooks Robinson, The Illustrated Man, Caravaggio, the Velvet Underground, Ollie Johnston, Joe Friday, Rudyard Kipling, Richard M. Sherman, Robert B. Sherman, Robert Schumann, Apollo C. Vermouth, James Taylor, Franz Liszt, Donna Reed, Eric Burdon, Captain Hook, W.C. Handy, Ren Hoek and Stimpson J. Cat, Morton Subotnick, Boris Godunov, Boris Badenov, Peter the Great, Telemachos, Leigh Harline, Paul J. Smith, W.S. Gilbert, Zonker Harris, Lion Miller, Paul Hindemith, Willie Mays, Vladimir Nabokov, Marlon Brando, Andrei Tarkovsky, Winston Churchill, Georges Bizet, Lionel Hampton, Terry Riley, Mario Mario, Samuel Butler, the cast of Cheers, Spinal Tap, Archie Shepp, Richard Strauss, Splinter, Richard Wagner, Jackie Coogan, Ali Akbar Khan, Robert Flaherty, Milos Foreman, Fritz Lang, Carl Yastrzemski, Dana Carvey, Clark "Mouth" Devereaux, Ric Burns, The Penguins, Joni Mitchell, Johann Gutenberg, Popeye, Modest Mussorgsky, Rod Serling, Ernst Lubitsch, Federico Fellini, Calvin and Hobbes, John Williams (the actor), the brothers Grimm, Stephen Dedalus, Jesus of Nazareth, Mae Questel, Audrey Hepburn, Dr. Marcus Brody, Sterling Hayden, Walter Matthau, Leon Theremin, Clint Eastwood, Studs Turkel, George Burns, Sitting Bull, Bullwinkle, Charlemagne, Kid Charlemagne, Robin Hood, Leonard Bernstein, Peter Lorre, Jean Cocteau, Shel Silverstein, Andy Kaufman, Christian Rub, Pete Townshend, Roger Daltry, John Entwistle, Robert Mitchum, Buck Henry, O. Henry, Oscar the Grouch, Mariano Rivera, John Prine, Euripides, Allan Sherman, H.G. Wells, Jesse James, Ingmar Bergman, John Steinbeck, Barret Hansen, Robert Mitchum, Stinky Wizzleteats, Jackie Gleason, Janis Joplin, Geronimo, Lotte Reiniger, Margot Kidder, Aretha Franklin, David Tomlinson, Laurence Olivier, J.R.R. Tolkien, Keith Moon, Fagin, Eric Cartman, Bela Lugosi, Lauren Bacall, Stanley Kubrick, Les Paul, Frank Lillie Pollack, Rick Wakeman, Jerry Stiller, Estelle Harris, Jerry Van Dyke, Doc, Happy, Bashful, Sneezy, Sleepy, Grumpy, Dopey, Elton John, Count Duckula, Kid Ory, Emil Jannings, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Anne Ramsey, Bernard Hermann, Arthur Miller, Tom Lehrer, Daniel Stern, Joe Pesci, Peabody, Sherman, Thelonius Monk, the Goons, John Bartlett, Paul Desmond, Jack Lemmon, The Band, Ian Abercrombie, Vasili Vasilyevich Vereshchagin, Duane Allman, Gerry Bamman, Elliot Carter, Eddie Healy, Indiana Jones, Alan Napier, Randy Newman, Edward Everett Horton, Harvey Korman, Larry David, Sidney Poitier, Muhammad, Frank Lloyd Wright, Nestor, Arthur Koestler, Irving Berlin, Gizmoduck, Horatius at the Bridge, William Blake, Claude Debussy, Mel Blanc, John Milton, Bobby Abreu, Foghorn Leghorn, Martin Scorsese, Carl Perkins, Wile E. Coyote, Marcel Duchamp, Donald Sutherland, Frederic Chopin, Grace Kelly, Elvis Costello, Andy Devine, Bruce Springsteen, Don Quixote, Sancho Panza, Cab Calloway, William Penn, Gary Cooper, Don Adams, the Addams Family, Al Franken, Sterling Holloway, Gene Hackman, Tom Joad, Jimi Hendrix, Cecil Taylor, G.F. Handel, Witold Lutoslawski, F.W. Murnau, Sergei Prokofiev, Vera Lynn, Willie Nelson, The Rutles, Gustav Mahler, Butch Morris, Sarah Vaughan, Ingrid Bergman, Wes Montgomery, Status Quo, Amedeo Modigliani, Thurman Munson, Alec Guinness, Mikhail Bulgakov, Stephen Foster, Roger Williams, Jack Cardiff, and Ogden Nash.

Q: Oh, of course. He was a great horse. Who's interviewing you right now?
A: I'm interviewing myself. 

Q: That's kind of stupid, don't you think?
A: Yeah, it's pretty stupid.

Q: How many times must the cannonballs fly before they're forever banned?
A: I don't know for sure, but I believe I've heard it said that the answer is blowing in the wind.